You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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