batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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