I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
