So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
id be glad to
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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