You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
