She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
