i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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