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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

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• (818): View more from California

  i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Naked Twister starts at high noon

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.

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• (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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• (415): View more from California

  Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.

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