Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize