woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
