Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(315): View more from New York

I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

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(801): View more from Utah

Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

(901): View more from Tennessee

That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard

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