your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
