What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.