She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Success! We fucked roommates!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
