thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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