the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
