What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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