We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize