does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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