So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
