The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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