Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
