wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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