he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
