Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
