You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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