Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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