I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
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No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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