Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
