she was so not down for the gang bang
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is the high leading the old right now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize