She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
