Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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