guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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