My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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