i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize