I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
