Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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