i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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