i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
