Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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