I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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