i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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