I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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