dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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