She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
