whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
