that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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