Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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