oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
