Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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