walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
