He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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