The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize