If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i drank out of a bidet.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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