You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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