you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
