Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
