you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize