Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize