If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
