Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
