We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
