I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
