Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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