Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize