i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
