I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
